Friday, December 18, 2009

I just wanted to report that we are still getting letters about this.

Do you see that necklace?
We have scores of depressed middle-aged housewives writing in asking not only for that necklace, but for a frightening number of cosmetic procedures (to be completed all at once), thanks to a single season of this person's reality/makeover show from 5 years ago.

My letters back are like, "Please. Foster the seeds of hope inside yourself before you turn to radical means. I am getting older too. [except I'm supposed to be Santa, so I say I am ancient and that it's been a slow and sometimes challenging adjustment] But I have grown to love myself and I realize that the illusion of beauty can be enhanced by cosmetic procedures, but that even that will never bring an optimal result without the illusion of beauty that shines from within. I cannot bring you the procedures you are asking for, but I can offer you the truth, which is that you are still eligible to find the greater beauty within yourself." "Or you can try moving to Brazil."

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