Friday, December 11, 2009
"Al Gore Approved"
My day has been slightly insane. First of all, I received this series of ridiculously overwrought letters from mentally ill people with too much time on their hands, including pictures of nearly every room in their houses, with lots of tangential commentary, requesting items of furniture for remodels. These letters were not inappropriate, but they took forever to interpret because of the mixed messages in the tangential rants. I was about to hide the letters, and was already starting to utter my own rants about the items of furniture when I discovered that an interior designer with quite a number of thoroughly insane clients had suddenly skipped town and left them all stranded, resulting in the letters I received.
Then after lunch I got a huge number of postcards and notes with messages I did not immediately understand (mostly because they all seemed incomplete, just cut off in the middle of the sentence) and each one was embossed the with words "This message is Al Gore approved."
Here's an example: "JEEVES HELP??? I NEED ANSWERS THIS IS NONSATISFACTORY I THOUGHT THERE WERE KINDS THAT DID NOT HIBERNATE TO THE SOUTH FOR WINTER BUT ARE THER" "This message is Al Gore approved."
and there was also: "and will RECTIFY the situation immediately if they know what is good for them and DONT pretend that this is a mute point either, SICK OF LIE" "This message is Al Gore approved."
Oh! And: "I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING IF YOU DO PLAN ON FLYING OFF THAT BRIDGE YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY RESTATUTION FIRST, LEAKING CALLS YOU TOXIC PARENT, WH" "This message is Al Gore approved."
By the time I got to this one, I knew whom I was most likely going to be writing back to: "ALS RECEIVED INTELLIGENCE A POSSIBLE PLAN TO THWART MY SHOE LINE SHOE-HAN FOR ALL THIN BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVERYWHERE I WILL FIGHT NOT BE SILENC" "This message is Al Gore approved."
So I wrote to D. Lohan's intern and told her to cool with it sending out correspondence on the Al Gore paper, and that it would really be useful to let Dina know that she needs to limit her statements to 140 characters if she wants all of each statement to come through.
Posted by Jeremy Lewis at 5:15 PM